Captain Obvious

It's time for more email snark. Today's email comes from a patron who is both impatient and lazy. Neither is something to be proud of. However, combined, I imagine they make life unbearable. Without further ado:

"In that past month or so, I've been having some difficulty getting the holds I've placed for books on the library website. It seems most of the books are coming from the main library. The ------- branch is closer, so I always request pickup there. The turn-around time used to be 1-2 days, but I have books that I've placed holds on (with no waiting) and It has been 7 days on one and 4 and counting on several others. Please look into this situation and help me understand what the delay might be. Thank you."

Dexter's reply:

"I think the delay stems from you not getting up off your ass to come get them yourself. Thank you and have a nice day!"